Giving when it hurts

Posted by Jen | Filed under My Own Stupidity

So, how long am I supposed to wait between posts? Should I have waited for Chris to post first so we can do a back/forth kind of thing? See, I don’t know the rules yet. My guess is that if I have something to say then I just say it. Cool? Again, nobody reads this so it really shouldn’t matter.

So recently, with great intention, I made a sacrifice to help someone that needed help. I don’t regret doing it and in fact, it really has been a blessing in a lot of ways. And now the infamous “but”… BUT, lately it has become a challenge to keep up the help and its starting to cost me more than just time and money…its costing me ME! I don’t really know how to explain. See, it’s easy to help people when it doesn’t require any of ourselves. We can give away the externals and call ourselves givers, but when it starts to require something personal and it starts to hurt, we, I, pull back. So not only am I dealing with the frustration of the situation right now, I am also dealing with dissappointment in myself.

This is a concept that I am struggling with a lot in my life lately. What credit is it to me if I only give when it is comfortable? What credit is it to me to love the people in my life that love me back? hmmmmm…

I guess if we were all perfect and selfless we wouldn’t need God’s help. I know that I need it more than ever now being a mom and my life being what it is. Most of the time we put some pretty high demands on God like, take care of this, and help me with that, make that person better, get me out of this…In return, He puts some high demands on us like feed my sheep, love your enemies, be a living sacrifice…Yeah, I want that in my life. I pretty much suck at the selfless thing right now, but I want to be better and I know that its getting worked out in me through these situations in my life. I need to decrease and Someone else needs to increase.

Permalink | October 5th, 2005

2 Responses to “Giving when it hurts”

  1. Janet Says:
    October 10th, 2005 at 8:12 pm

    Whaddya mean nobody reads this!?! Jen, don’t be too hard on yourself. Contrary to what some might think, you’re not perfect. Very hard to believe. God will continue to work through you–just continue to pray and ask for His guidance. H Y P P A N E I You will get 200 brazilian points if you can unscramble the word. (in 20 minutes of course!)

  2. E. J. Says:
    October 17th, 2005 at 7:05 pm

    I read them Jenn

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