Random Inspirations

Contest:  I’m going to give something away to the first person who can identify the Seinfeld reference in the show.  No guarantees on the prize and you must leave a comment telling me what the reference was.

LIve and direct from The Blue Room in Edmond, OK, Chris and EJ, and later Dave, are all in studio.  Speaking of the Blue Room, it’s actually a blues club in Kansas City.  We couldn’t find a link to the actual picture EJ has, but this is close enough.

“I thought he was going to punch her in the face!”

The Fist-Bump Heard Arond the World. Right up there with “The Butt-Slap Heard Around the World” or “The Boobie Grab That Sank 1,000 Ships.”  Obama breaks new ground in congratulatory celebrations.  Republicans are already calling it a “terrorist jab.”

FYI – There was a storm raging whilst we were recording.

“You might get shot.  I might shoot you.  You’ll go down $50 richer, but you might die.”

Hypermiling – the practice of being the biggest cheapskate you can on gas, while simultaneously causing major damage to your engine, brakes, tires, transmission, muffler, and radio and pissing off everyone within a 2 mile radius of your car.

Here’s the ultimate hypermiler Wayne Gerdes.  Also known as Wayne “Get Outta My Way, I’ll Run Over You Before I Buy Gas” Gerdes.

Here’s Dave.  Although you won’t hear him for a little while because he’s not all about getting “all up on the mic.”

ElectriveDrive.org sales figures.  *updated to June 2008.

“I encourage people with a heart to serve to step up and take the plunge.”

In this segment, we catch Dave up on all the things we’ve already talked about.  Enjoy hearing it again.

“Nothing can kill the iPod unless it’s mine.”

iPod iPhone 2.0, EJ’s iPod, Chris is using a Mac (oh the apple-manity), and, who could’ve guessed, random topics.

“Act like the mic is the women voters and get all up in it.

American student James Buck used Twitter to bail himself out of an Egyptian jail.  Talk about your ultimate bail bond.

Unfortunately, we get off on the topic of whether it’s actually possible to “tweet” while being arrested by Egyptians.  Here’s EJ’s very scientific experiment.

Back on topic, Mr. Buck tries to free his translator.

Again, too bad we get back onto Twitter.  We so perceptively point out that it could be nicely used by cult leaders.

“Don’t Tweet Me Bro!”

Speaking of tasing, that’s what she said.  The LG Vu is 3” long, er..has a 3” screen.  It’s reached that awkward stage where it wants to ask out the girl, but the quarterback of the football team iPhone, is flirting with her by her locker, even though he doesn’t really like her like the Vu does.

In the background is Google, trying to take over the world.  “What are we going to do tonight, Google?”  “Same thing we do every night.  Try to take over the world.”

“Google’s starting to show some of their cracks”

“Aren’t there, like, anti-trust laws.”

EJ and Chris carry on a Twitter conversion whilst podcasting.  Oh how connected we are.

“I always TiVo Lost on my Cox DVR, blow my nose in a Kleenex made by Puffs Plus, and drink a Coke called Dr. Pepper.”

“I recently took my Facebook off.”

“You have 2 options, ‘Men,’ ‘Women,’ or blank.”

“George Bush created Facebook.”

“I’m about to put my nerd hat back on.”

Our Lost discussion gets into the season finale.  First, what happened to Locke?  How did he die?  Will the island bring him back to life?  What’s up with Ben getting back to the island?  Are Saywer and Juliet Adam and Eve?  Why were the graphics so cheesy to Dave?  Will Al Gore blame global warming on why the ocean’s went lower, in reality, it’s the island moving in space/time?  Will Charles Widmore have enough money to hang out in the ocean until the island shows back up?  Will Joey from “Blossom” be on our next show when we discuss “Lost”?

“Whoa!”

“That’s about it.”

Sponsors:

• Long, awkward pauses.
• Root beer that tastes like plastic/lake water.
• The anti-Twitter.
• Alternate forms of Affection.  “It’s New Age.”

For the first time in Random Inspirations’ history, we’re releasing a never-before-released version of the published version of this podcast. Since adding a co-host and a regular guest, the time of the podcast went from 7:30 to over 106 mins. I got the official version down to just over 40 mins (all good stuff), but I wanted you to be able to hear the entire thing (mostly) unedited - if you have 106 mins to spare. You can download the full version here.

College football. Click here for your favorite team. This is the coolest schedule I’ve ever seen.

Miss Teen USA South Carolina. Enough said. Just listen.

Fall TV Lineup. Laruel’s TV Picks: Decent guide for upcoming shows. Couchville.com: The best guide for what’s on now.

20 Things You Didn’t Know About Sleeping - Unless You’ve Already Listened to the Podcast. Then it’s about 15 you didn’t know.

Blonde Joke.

We Suck!

Sponsors:

• Blue Note Studios
• Spindrift Creative
• Choc Beer
• The Letter “Z”
  

Contact Me

email me at ri.at.solidroots.com

This story starts out like any other story: on a Saturday. With wind gusting around 89 mph. All stories start out on Saturdays b/c writers are generally bored on Saturdays, but this is when they are also the most creative.

Being on a Saturday, my (beautiful) wife and mom were out running errands. My (perfect) child was in bed. Having the house to myself and in despair from my beloved Cowboys dropping another game, I decided to drown my sorrows in my third favorite television show. I recently had been given the Season 1 DVD set of Bones (Wednesdays 8/7c on Fox), so I popped in a disc and was all set to enjoy the horrors of forensics and the awesomeness of FBI-ism. During the second episode, I noticed a smoky smell. Thinking someone was grilling outside, I continued to watch. As the episode progressed, the smell became stronger - even to the point that, being the nosy neighbor I am, I went outside to see if it was really a grill or something else. Guess what? It turned out to be something else.

I saw the white smoke rushing through the “alley.” I knew it was too much for a grill (unless it was an industrial grill. And if it was an industrial grill, why is there an industrial grill in someone’s backyard anyway?). Since our house and others don’t have fences, I was able to walk out back and look right down to the end of the block. Through the smoke I saw 3 or 4 people trying to beat the grass into submission with a combination of water torture and persistent foot-stomping. Later I found out that they weren’t interrogating the grass for the enemy’s position, but the grass was on fire.

I raced back into the house to get some shoes (forget socks). As I rounded the house to get the hose, the fire rounded the neighbor’s fence and started mocking me. It said, “Come get me. Try and put me out. I’m going to get you first, Jack.” Fortunately, I know the fire language, as you probably would’ve misinterpreted it as mere crackling. Having my CTU shirt on, I knew the fire thought I was Jack Bauer, whose spirit arose in me. In true dramatic TV fashion, I had trouble connecting the hose. I had it, then it slipped off. The fire grew closer, it’s mocking becoming louder and more annoying. I felt it’s hot breath on my face and the sting of it’s smoke in my eyes. I finally managed to get the hose connected and started blasting away at the fire. I managed to stop it 6-8 feet away from the house. And having a concrete draining ditch next to our house slowed the fire enough that I managed to put it out before it jumped to the next house. However, the backyard of our back neighbors wasn’t safe - yet.

I trodded right through the ashes, watering and stomping out smoking grass. The fire raged on up the alley, so the smoke became a problem. I couldn’t see through it! It was like going through a cloud. A smelly, yellowish-white cloud that burned and could kill you if you stayed in him too long. I did my best to stop the fire reaching their house. It moved along their neighbor’s fence. My hose, being just long enough to reach the back edge my property, and the wind blowing my stream of life-saving water, wasn’t up for the task. The fire was engulfing a renegade trash can that had rebelled it’s way into the back yard. I knew my only chance was to grab the trash can, shoot it in it’s knees until it agreed to cooperate, and fill him up with enough water to reach the fire before it took out a fence. I dropped my hose, forced my way through the small, but raging, flames and grabbed the bin. I soon choked him into submission and filled him 1/3 of the way up with the all-natural ridder of toxins - both inside the body and out. With the help of the neighbor across the drainage ditch, we managed to subdue the fire. until, that is, another neighbor came out who needed help. His backyard was almost completely burnt, but I offered my aid by soaking his yard so it could not ignite the small, unburned portions. After fighting the last remaining flames and dowsing a smoldering fence board or two, the fire department made a sweep of our area and continued upwind.

Throughout the ordeal, I only received second-degree ashes. Fortunately, the firemen were well equipped with extra water and paper towels. Our house was saved, but only half of our backyard went unscathed. He is survived by the other half of the backyard, his spouse the front yard, and their children the two sideyards. Memorial services have already closed, but gifts and monetary donations are still welcome.

Below are some pictures. If you are easily scared, get queasy or have small children around, I suggest you use extreme caution while scrolling. Some images may be very disturbing.